Since I am missing out few years in this blog, there are a lot to catch up on! I know with social medias these days, it is easier just to put on pictures and walla! But there is something comforting re-reading old entries, the stories that were elaborated one's events that I do not recall or remember anymore which follow these responses as well; "I actually did that?!", "I actually felt that?!", or mostly "I was that dumb? That was lame". Hahaha.
I am 38 this year, and I started this blog in 2009, that was 16 years ago?! Wow just wow. I am definitely older, and hopefully wiser, and of course my writing has been different as for my perspectives in life too. A LOT has happened, a LOT has changed, but with this age, what matters most is my family. I don't give an F about most things too, at least materially and most importantly I braved myself to cut ties to some people too and I don't actually regret that. My children, Hanif is 11 this year, and Maryam is 3. Time flies so fast, I now had few greys on my hair duhhh (but my husband has it more and earlier.. hehe), and the wrinkles started getting obvious too! And now latest update, I think my eyesight is started to get blurry. Yes, old.
Regrets? Yes, I had few, especially with my Nenek, of course the pain is still new with her recent passing, I tried to make peace with it, telling myself that I had done my best, and I've done enough with everything I can, and luckily, I have a great support system from my husband and family. Maybe one of my best memory, I get to drive her on my own, just few weeks before she passed.. (had my driver license at the age of 35..)
I also have many what ifs.. of course, and few bad decisions but hey, I am still thankful and grateful, that I am blessed with everything I had now. My career has been few turning points, of course there are ups and downs, but as a working class people, we made a best out of it. I wasn't born on a silver platter, everyday is a hustle for me and to give the best for our children and to prepare them for the world. Parenting is tough and sometimes I break down too, feeling that I have not done enough. But I have read somewhere, if you always feeling that way, means you are on the right path.
I don't really remember what happened in 2023 though haha! But I think job has been a bit tough with the restructuring and had to move to a different office, new colleagues and new boss. But the sweetest of all, I get to attend Harry Styles live in Bangkok on his L.O.V.E world tour. Shall update my past life around the concert I attended then hahaha. It was the BEST concert I have ever attended and I would repeat that in a heartbeat! I plan to make a special entry on this but nahhh with all the promises I made before, I don't think I will complete it, plus I can't remember the details except that I had LOADS of fun!
In 2024, life hits quite hard to us, we were tested financially especially when my husband were laid off from P without any compensation. We had to rely on single income for a couple of months. This really taking a great toll on both of us especially my husband, he was shattered, demotivated, but I know giving up is never in his book. He tirelessly working on finding jobs day and night and finally settled with a company that paid half of what he used to get, but life must go on and we working out our lifestyle to fit the budget. Nevertheless I am still thankful that Allah swt is still looking out to us, we still have the roof, food on our plate, and bills/mortgages/commitments are still being paid despite maybe with some ehemm late charges ehemm. And oh, we also get a chance to attend Coldplay live in Singapore in January. One of the concert that I have been eagerly wanting to attend since forever.
That is what I can think of for a moment a little update in a nutshell. I try to write more, if I be able to, for me to rereading it in the future, and when life hits me hard again, I can go back to this blog and revisit the happy memories. To remind myself that I can do this, I can do this life, I can get through this. To know that I am blessed, I am loved, and life loved me too. Till then :)
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