Becoming 30

Assalammualaikum wbt,

On the last 15th October was my birthday.. I’m gonna spill it here, the 30th Birthday was it. I feel so old and I have mixed feelings on me becoming 30. I feel proud, happy, sad but happy again when I don’t look actually 30 hahahaha. It’s scary guys, because the 20s era has ended.. the time to explore, being silly, doing stupid things, make mistakes and learn from it is finally... over? When I thought about my achievements and comparing myself with others, I feel I was way underaccomplished, like I haven’t done enough. But they are all Syaitoonnnnnn guysss 😂 That is the downside of social media, we keep comparing ourselves with others thinking their life is perfect and their achievements are great. Don’t ever let this influence you!! I’m speaking for myself by the way, because I always feel insecure seeing all those Instagram rich kids, so called successful people on social media and how I felt I was a loser not having what they have. What an Idiot I was. 

A lot of things happened to me and I know I am wiser, because being wise is not measured by age. I love to reflect myself everytime especially in crisis. How I handled things, how I control my emotions, how do I speak and how I judged the situations. Then, I would compare to my younger self and what would I do if I were my old self, and I realized I am so much matured and calmer these days. Please don’t think I am smart or as your role model, as I have flaws and these reflections is for my personal measurement. 

There are a lot of factors determine how one self reacts to certain situation. And I would say, mostly my job taught me really well and taught me hard sometime. It doesn’t matter to make mistakes or life knocking you down hard but most important thing is how you back up and learn from it. If don’t learn anything or take the lesson from it or reflect yourself, then it just simply being stupid. Everything happen must have its impact on you. Like the wise say, good people give you memory, bad people give you experience. For those you don’t know, let me fill you in, I’ve been in customer service for almost 7 years now and tell you, it’s tough because you can’t be yourself! 

You have to put your poker face on daily basis, draw a smile everytime despite cursing all the possible swears in your head. It really teaches me how to be patience, calm and making critical thinking. What more, I am dealing with money, any silly mistake would cost you fortune. As years go by, I realized I’ve become more appreciative to little things surrounding me. Even the littlest thing or simplest human act would make me thinking and grateful for this life and to breathe another day.

Ok, enough about the deep thought. I’m not really good with words and before I went further rambling things that would make people even more confuse, let’s write something simpler then 😂 So.. for my birthday, I’ve got few surprises, in fact which some I least expected it. First one, was from my colleague and my boss. They were so kind gifted me a very lovely, very pretty and expensive Pandora necklace and charm. Oh my, I really loved it!! It is so pretttttty and I would wear it 24 hours if I could. I almost cried when I received it because it is that beautiful ❤️

Then, I went to my mother’s house and she bought/ordered a Pavlova for me and my husband’s birthday. This is where I least expected because usually, in my family, I always be the one whom arranging event, buying gifts yada yada for everybody and nobody would done it for me. I even went merajuk last time because of this 😂 So, when my mother did that, it really touched me because I know she is kind of introvert person and doesn’t really favor in social interaction especially with strangers. Thank you Mak & Abah. 

My mother in law also is the sweetest as she always bought a cake for us on yearly basis. I think it’s easy for everyone to celebrate our birthday as ours are only 2 days apart, so they just need to buy one cake and we get to share our names on it. Yes, my husband always stealing my limelight *roll eyes* 

I am happy now that I am 30 and although I may not rich or surrounded by luxurious stuff everyone would dream of, I am extremely happy. Everyone’s happiness is define differently. And my definition would be the basic needs in my hand, air to breathe, a job to keep, health to move, food on table and everyone I love are always be there. 30 is definitely ROCKS!!